When Does Parenting Get Easier

Or : The Moment I Finally Felt Like I Had the Hang of This Parenting Thing 😊

As a first-time parent, those early days with my newborn were a blur of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and wondering if I was completely screwing this whole thing up. Somewhere around the three-month mark, things started to feel a tiny bit less chaotic. But it wasn’t until my son was about a year old that I finally felt like I was getting the hang of this parenting thing.

Looking back, there were a few key moments that stand out in my mind as when I started to gain more confidence as a parent. The first was when we got into a good routine. For the first few months, every day felt unpredictable. I never knew when the baby would nap or for how long. His cries and needs felt like a constant guessing game. But at around 4 months old, his patterns became more consistent. I could plan around his usual nap times and bedtime. Knowing what to expect each day made me feel so much less stressed.

The second moment was when we sleep trained. Oh, sleep training. That was a rough week or so of letting him “cry it out” at bedtime and pick him up and hug him to calm him down. I did it on noon’s nap, to be with more powers to deal with the new sleeping habits (“Please fall asleep on your own without me having to rock you all over the house!”). But once we made it through, he was sleeping solidly through the night. And that made ALL the difference for my mental health and patience during the day. Suddenly I had the energy to not just survive, but actually enjoy my time with him. (I used this book for help).

The third shift happened when he became mobile. Crawling, cruising, and finally walking opened up a whole new world of play and interaction. I’ll never forget the wave of delight I felt the first time he toddled towards me with arms outstretched. It was scary to babyproof everything once he could get into trouble. But seeing him gain this independence and become absorbed in exploring his environment was incredible. I didn’t have to work as hard to entertain him now.

There were still plenty of tough and frustrating days, of course. But by the time he hit a year old, I noticed I was able to handle the rough moments with much more patience and calm. I think a big reason was simply time and experience. The more I got to know my child’s unique personality, the easier it became to respond to his needs. My confidence grew as I successfully navigated each new parenting challenge.

And while those early days of new parenthood were a trial by fire, I’m grateful for what they taught me. Going through the gauntlet of sleep deprivation, self-doubt, and zero alone time made me realize I was capable of handling way more than I ever thought possible. It showed me I could stay calm and present in the most difficult moments. And it gave me the foundation I needed to feel ready for each new phase of my kid’s childhood.

Still, when he grew up, parenthood certainly isn’t “easy” – the challenges just change. But I do feel like I’ve found my footing. My husband and I have learned how to tag team when the other needs a break. I’ve accepted that the house will be messy and dinner will be sandwiches some nights. And I know what my kid needs from me at different times of day.

Stages of Parenting and When It Gets Easier

Infancy and Toddlerhood

Parenting during infancy and toddlerhood requires tremendous effort. It is a time of rapid physical, cognitive, linguistic, social and emotional growth, with new milestones every month or so.

The sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and the constant need for attention can leave parents feeling both physically and emotionally drained.

The challenges of early childhood extend beyond the realm of basic care, as parents grapple with the temper tantrums, unpredictable behavior, and constant demands of their little ones. It can be overwhelming to navigate the uncharted territory of soothing a colicky baby or deciphering the needs of a nonverbal toddler.

The battle of getting a picky eater to consume a balanced meal or coaxing an energetic child into bedtime routines can feel like climbing an uphill mountain.

Yet, amidst the exhaustion, there is an indescribable joy that comes from witnessing the milestones of a growing child. The first time they utter “mama” or “dada,” the sheer delight in their eyes as they take their first steps, and the infectious giggles that fill the room—all these moments serve as reminders that the challenges of early childhood are accompanied by an unparalleled sense of wonder and fulfillment. It is in this delicate stage of life that parents learn the importance of patience, adaptability, and unconditional love. As they navigate the maze of tantrums, naptime struggles, and mealtime battles, parents gradually uncover the depths of their own resilience, discovering strengths they never knew they possessed. Early childhood may be arduous, but it is also a time of immense growth and cherished memories that forever shape the parent-child bond.

Preschool and Early School Years

Parenting through the preschool and early school years can be a difficult yet rewarding experience. As children enter this stage, they’re likely to have more independence, require less supervision, and start to express their own opinions and personal preferences.

As a preschool parent, you may face challenges like tantrums, sharing struggles, picky eating, and overscheduling activities. But you’ll be amazed at their blossoming imagination through pretend play, storytelling, and art. Their curiosity about the world leads to endless creative questions. You’ll also get to watch the foundations of friendship form.

The transition to formal schooling brings new difficulties like classroom expectations, harder peer dynamics, and forming trusting bonds with teachers. However, their newfound confidence, independence, and excitement to take on academic challenges can fill you with pride and joy. You’ll be impressed by their focus during classroom learning.

In these early elementary grades, parenting headaches may include helping with more rigorous homework, balancing extracurricular schedules, and handling conflicts with friends. But you’ll be delighted to see their reading skills flourish, watch them develop hobbies like sports or arts, and discuss what they’re learning in the world. Their compassion and sense of fairness also emerge.

Later elementary school brings academic challenges like managing workload for multiple subjects and helping children cope with pressure to compete and perform. However, peer interaction becomes richer, empathy deepens, and intellectual curiosity leads to bigger-picture thinking. You’ll have a front row seat to the fruits of their education.

The grade school years go by fast but lay the foundation for who they will become. Keep communicating, set high expectations, but don’t forget to let them pursue fun and friendships too. This balanced approach will help them thrive.

Middle and High School

Parenting during the middle and high school years can present unique challenges, but also allows plenty of opportunities for growth and connection. During these stages of development it’s important to keep an open line of communication between parent and child.

While setting clear expectations and boundaries are key, it is equally necessary to allow young people the freedom to express themselves, experiment with their identities, and establish independence while still providing guidance when needed.

Parents should take time to reflect on how best they can support their teenager at this stage in life – whether that be actively listening even if there is disagreement over views expressed, being aware when your teen needs extra space, modelling positive emotional responses, helping them navigate difficult conversations or reinforcing positivity for both parties etc.

It’s vital during adolescence for parents to help children stay true to who they are by reminding them about the importance of character values and respecting themselves more than anyone else around them.

Young Adulthood

Raising children in their twenties can be quite a different experience for parents than parenting during earlier stages of development. At this age, the focus changes more towards building and maintaining relationships with adult children who are quickly becoming independent adults.

As a parent entering young adulthood with your child, it is important to remember that each individual progress through life in their own unique way. Navigating this transition requires parents to focus on communication, understanding, and providing support for their adult child’s choices while still honoring boundaries without micromanaging them as grownups.

This often entails letting go of expectations and shifting from traditional parental roles into being a supportive friend or companion while encouraging the exploration of new experiences outside of the family dynamic.

Building strong communication skills between yourself and your adult child will create a sense of trust and security which is necessary to make the most out of untraditional parenting methods like healthy problem solving together instead parental authority alone.

Here are some Factors That Affect When Parenting Gets Easier

Establishing routines – Getting your child on a predictable schedule of naps, feedings, and daily activities can bring much-needed structure and calm to chaotic early parenting days. Aim to have consistent wake windows, nap times, mealtimes, bedtime routines, etc. This helps children feel secure and makes days smoother for parents. Routines often naturally emerge around 3-6 months.

Sleep training – Teaching your child healthy sleep habits like falling asleep independently can lead to better nighttime sleep and well-rested family members. Methods like cry-it-out, checks and pick up, or fading involve some tears but lead to more sleep in the long run. Best to start around 4-6 months when sleep needs change.

Mobility – As your baby learns to roll, crawl, pull up, cruise, and eventually walk, they become capable of independently interacting with their environment. This frees up parents from constantly having to entertain them. Plus, you can engage in new active play. Mobility milestones typically happen between 6-15 months.

Experience over time – Simply by going through the daily parenting grind, you’ll pick up knowledge and confidence. The longer you care for your child through ups and downs, the more skilled you’ll become at handling their needs. Each challenge makes you more prepared.

Social support – Having family, friends, or paid help that can give you a break is huge. Trade off childcare with your partner or plan regular babysitting. Breaks allow you to recharge your mental and physical batteries. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help.

Letting go of control – Babies and kids are unpredictable. Learning to roll with the punches and lower unrealistic expectations can reduce frustration. Realize you can’t control their every mood, need, or behavior. Go with the parenting flow.

Taking care of yourself – Be sure to prioritize sleep, healthy meals, exercise, and me-time as a parent. Taking care of your own needs helps you better care for your child with energy, patience, and positivity. Don’t neglect self-care.

Accepting the mess – Household chores will often slide with little kids. Laundry may pile up, dishes clatter in the sink, and toys scatter across floors. Embrace the chaos and do only essential chores. Perfectionism leads to burnout.

Enjoying the milestones – Focus on relishing the special moments like first laughs, steps, and words. These bonding milestones make the stresses worthwhile. Capture the positives through photos, videos, baby books or journals.

Trusting your instincts – Over time you become the expert on your unique child. Have faith in your ability to discern and meet their needs. Don’t second-guess your parenting gut reactions.

Final Thoughts

The early days with a new baby can feel like you’ve been dropped into the deep end without a life jacket. But if you can make it through the initial overwhelm, things do get smoother. As you and your child both gain experience, you’ll start to find your parenting groove. Keep in mind that there are many factors that affect when you’ll begin to feel more competent. Establishing routines, sleep training, encouraging your baby’s independence, and taking care of yourself all make a huge difference. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from others too. Over time, you’ll gain the confidence to trust your instincts and roll with the punches. Before you know it, you’ll look back and realize you’ve gone from flailing to soaring through this parenting journey. Those exhausting early days will equip you with skills and memories to cherish. So take it one day at a time, celebrate the small wins, and know that easier days lie ahead.

You’ve got this, parents!