Circle of Control for Kids – Life Skills that Last a Lifetime

The concept of the “Circle of Control” is often attributed to Stephen Covey, who created a similar model with three concentric circles in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Covey’s model includes three circles: the Circle of Concern, the Circle of Influence, and the Circle of Control.

The Circle of Concern includes all the things that a person is concerned about, whether they can control them or not. The Circle of Influence includes the things that a person can actually influence through their actions and choices. The Circle of Control includes the things that a person has complete control over, such as their own thoughts and behaviors.

Covey’s model emphasizes the importance of focusing on what is within our control, rather than becoming overwhelmed by the things that are outside of our control. By focusing on our Circle of Control, we can take responsibility for our own choices and actions and feel empowered to make positive changes in our lives.

As a parent, guiding your child through life’s challenges is an essential part of helping them grow and thrive. One way to teach resilience and emotional intelligence is by introducing the concept of the Circle of Control for Kids.

We will make it much simpler for kids: we will have only 2 circles:

What I can control and what I can’t.

This powerful tool enables children to focus on things they can control while letting go of circumstances beyond their reach. Not only does it foster a proactive attitude, but it also enhances self-esteem and emotional well-being.

So let’s dive into everything you need to know about the Circle of Control for Kids – from its benefits to practical ways you can incorporate it into your child’s daily life.

What Is the Circle Of Control For Kids?

The Circle of Control for Kids is a visual tool that helps children distinguish what things they can and cannot control, allowing them to focus on what they can do rather than getting bogged down by things beyond their control.

Definition and Explanation

The Circle of Control is a powerful concept that helps kids understand and visualize the aspects of their lives they can influence or control, as well as those beyond their reach.

In essence, the Circle of Control comprises two sections: the inner circle represents what’s within our control – for example, our thoughts, actions, reactions; whereas the outer circle denotes factors outside our control – such as other people’s opinions or decisions, natural disasters or unforeseen accidents.

For instance, if your child comes home from school feeling upset because they didn’t get invited to a classmate’s birthday party; by using the Circle of Control concept you can assist them in recognizing that while they cannot change someone’s preferences when it comes to guest lists (outer circle), there are plenty of options within their realm (inner circle) such as understanding one event doesn’t define friendships or focusing on building stronger bonds with peers through shared interests.

Importance of Teaching Kids About The Circle Of Control

Teaching children about the Circle of Control is essential for fostering a strong sense of personal responsibility and resilience. As they grow, kids encounter numerous situations where they may feel helpless or overwhelmed, such as issues at school or changes within the family.

By understanding the Circle of Control concept, they can better differentiate between aspects in their life that are within their control and those that aren’t.

For example, imagine a child worried about an upcoming test at school. By learning about the Circle of Control, this child would recognize that while they can’t control how difficult the test will be or how other students perform, they do have control over their own preparation and effort.

This awareness not only helps alleviate anxiety but also encourages a proactive attitude towards problem-solving when faced with challenges.

Benefits of Practicing The Circle Of Control For Kids

Practicing the Circle of Control can lead to improved emotional regulation, increased self-esteem and confidence, reduced anxiety and stress, and an empowered pro-active attitude.

Improved Emotional Regulation

Introducing the concept of the Circle of Control to kids plays a crucial role in improving their emotional regulation. By understanding what’s within their control and what isn’t, children can better manage their emotions and reactions to various situations they encounter in their daily lives.

For instance, if a child is upset about not being invited to a friend’s birthday party, learning about the Circle of Control can help them recognize that they cannot control other people’s decisions.

Teaching children about the Circle of Control fosters resilience as it equips them with strategies for maintaining calmness during stressful circumstances. Take, for example, a situation where your child becomes anxious right before an important presentation at school – by utilizing the concepts from the Circle of Control activities you practiced together, your child will have developed healthy coping mechanisms that enable them to handle nerves without becoming overwhelmed or disheartened by performance anxiety.

Increased Self-esteem and Confidence

Practicing the Circle of Control can have a significant impact on children’s self-esteem and confidence levels. When kids focus on what they can control, they are more likely to feel capable of managing their lives and be less affected by external factors such as peer pressure or criticism from others.

By giving children more agency over their decision-making process, parents can help improve their self-esteem. Encouraging kids to take ownership over tasks that fall within their Circle of Control builds a sense of accomplishment which further strengthens their self-efficacy.

Overall, practicing activities related to the Circle of Control with kids leads to improved emotional awareness and regulation in addition to developing habits rooted in pro-active attitudes towards problems instead drowning ourselves in anxiety related thoughts- making us better problem-solvers overtime!

Reduced Anxiety and Stress

Teaching children about the Circle of Control can help reduce their anxiety and stress levels. By understanding what is within their control, kids can focus on those factors and feel more empowered, leading to increased confidence and self-esteem.

For example, a child who is anxious about an upcoming test can write down what actions are within their control (studying hard, asking for help if needed), versus factors that are outside of their control (the difficulty level of the test).

This helps them realize that they have some agency in the situation and reduces feelings of helplessness.

Empower Pro Active Attitude

Teaching kids about the Circle of Control not only helps them regulate their emotions, but it also empowers them to have a proactive attitude towards life. By focusing on what they can control, children learn to take responsibility for their actions and decisions.

This mindset encourages problem-solving skills and allows kids to be more confident in their abilities.

Moreover, having a proactive attitude fosters independence and resilience in children. They learn to adapt to change and overcome obstacles by looking for solutions within their circle of control rather than relying solely on external factors or other people’s opinions.

How To Teach Kids About The Circle Of Control?

To teach kids about the Circle of Control, start by identifying what is within their control and providing lots of examples to help them understand what they can and cannot control; encourage them to focus on what they can control by setting goals that are achievable; use fun Circle of Control activities and exercises like drawing or coloring their own circle, role-playing games, or making a list of things that are in their circle.

Identify What Is Within Their Control

As we wrote before, Teaching kids about the Circle of Control can be a powerful tool for increasing their emotional regulation. To help them better understand this concept, start by helping them to identify what is within their control. Some things that fall into this category might include:

– Their own actions and reactions

– How they choose to spend their time

– Whether or not they communicate their needs and feelings

– The effort they put into schoolwork or other activities

It’s important to note that while we can encourage children to exert control over certain aspects of their lives, there will always be some things that are outside of their control. By focusing on what they can control, kids can learn to feel more empowered and confident in themselves, even in difficult situations.

Examples of What Within Their Control and What Is Not

Here are some examples of what is within a child’s control and what is not:

Within Their Control:	Not Within Their Control:
How they choose to react to situations	Natural disasters or unexpected events like the pandemic
Their attitude and mindset towards challenges	Other people’s opinions or actions
Their effort and hard work in school or sports	Family dynamics and relationships
The words they use when communicating with others	Changes in the environment or weather
Choosing their friends and who they spend time with	Moving to a new school or city
Their own thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs	Other people’s behaviors and attitudes
The goals we set and our efforts to achieve them	The past and the future

Encourage Focus on What They Can Control

I know, the fact that we have thing that are not in our control is very frustrated.

Everyone face situations that are beyond their control. It can be easy for them to feel helpless and overwhelmed in these moments.

When we are encouraging kids to focus on what they can control, we return some of the control to them.

Another way parents can guide children towards focusing on what they can control is by having conversations around problem-solving strategies.

Let’s say a child is feeling overwhelmed by a big project they have to complete for school. They might feel like it’s too much work and they don’t know where to start. As a parent, you can help them break down the project into smaller parts to make it feel more manageable.

First, have them identify the specific tasks they need to complete to finish the project. This might include doing research, writing an outline, drafting the paper, and revising the final draft.

Next, encourage them to prioritize the tasks in order of importance and urgency. For example, they might need to do the research first, then write the outline, and so on.

Finally, help them come up with a plan to tackle each task one at a time. You can work together to create a schedule or timeline to help them stay on track and make steady progress towards completing the project.

Breaking down a big problem into smaller parts can help kids feel less overwhelmed and more confident in their ability to tackle the task at hand. It also helps them develop problem-solving skills that they can use in other areas of their lives.

Circle of Control Activities and Exercises

Teaching your child about the circle of control can help them regulate their emotions and reduce anxiety. Here are some simple activities and exercises to try:

1. Mind mapping: Have your kid draw a circle on a piece of paper to represent their Circle of Control. Then, ask them to brainstorm things that are within their control and write them down inside the circle. Encourage them to think about their thoughts, feelings, and actions, as well as their environment and surroundings. This exercise can help them visualize what is within their control and feel more empowered to make positive changes.

2. Make a game of Circle of Control: instead of drawing, use a hula hoop and put it on the floor. You can take a rope or skipping rope and put it as a circle on the floor. Your kid can jump in and out according to a list of things you will say. For example: weather – jump outside the hula hoop. Wearing warm coat – jump inside.   

3. My Worry Jar: Decorate a jar or box, where they can write down their worries and concerns. Encourage them to focus on the things that are within their control and come up with actionable steps they can take to address their worries. This exercise can help them feel more in control of their thoughts and emotions.

4. Breathing Exercises: Teach your child breathing exercises to help them calm down and manage their emotions. One simple exercise is to have them take deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth, counting to four on each inhale and exhale. This can help them feel more in control of their body and emotions.

5. Positive self-talk: Teach your child to use positive self-talk to reinforce the idea that they have control over their thoughts and feelings. Have them create a list of positive affirmations that they can repeat to themselves when they feel overwhelmed or anxious. For example, “I can handle this situation,” or “I am strong and capable.”

6. Role-playing: Use role-playing exercises to help your child practice problem-solving and communication skills. Create scenarios where they have to negotiate with a friend or family member or handle a difficult situation. This can help them develop the confidence and skills they need to feel in control in real-life situations.

7. Gratitude journaling: Encourage your child to focus on what they are grateful for and what they appreciate in their lives. Have them keep a gratitude journal where they can write down things, they are thankful for each day. This exercise can help them shift their focus towards the things they can control and feel more positive and optimistic.

8. Goal setting: Help your child set goals that are within their control and encourage them to take action towards achieving them. For example, they might set a goal to read for 30 minutes each day, or to practice a new skill for 20 minutes each day. By setting goals that are within their control, they can feel more empowered and motivated to make positive changes in their lives.

9. Visualization: Teach your child to use visualization techniques to imagine a positive outcome in a situation that is causing them stress or anxiety. Have them close their eyes and imagine themselves succeeding in the situation, feeling confident and in control. This exercise can help them feel more prepared and less anxious about future challenges.

10. Emotional check-ins: Encourage your child to regularly check in with their emotions and reflect on how they are feeling. Have them create a chart or use an app to track their emotions throughout the day. This exercise can help them become more aware of their emotions and learn how to manage them more effectively.

11. Mindfulness exercises: Teach your child mindfulness exercises to help them focus on the present moment and reduce stress and anxiety. For example, you can guide them through a body scan exercise where they focus on each part of their body and release any tension they are holding. This can help them feel more relaxed and in control of their thoughts and emotions.

Remember that these activities should be fun and engaging for your child while teaching them an important life skill.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, the Circle of Control is an excellent tool for teaching kids about things they can and cannot control. This concept helps them to become more self-aware and better manage their emotions.

By focusing on what they can control, children can develop a proactive attitude towards life while reducing anxiety and stress.

Remember, by consistently using this method, your child will learn to look at problems differently while becoming more confident in themselves as well!

FAQs:

1. What is the circle of control for kids?

The circle of control is a tool that teaches children to focus on things they can control, such as their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, while learning not to worry about things outside their control.

2. How can I teach my child about the circle of control?

Parents or teachers can help children understand the concept by using visual aids like diagrams or illustrations and explaining it in simple terms through stories or relatable examples from everyday life.

3. Can practicing the circle of control benefit my child’s mental health?

Yes, by developing a sense of empowerment and self-awareness, your child will be better equipped to manage anxiety and stress related issues now and in future situations beyond childhood.

4. At what age should I introduce my child to the concept of Circle Of Control?

Introducing this concept early in life (as young as 5-6 yrs) could prove beneficial since it instils positive habits/traits at an early stage which might have long-term benefits on mental well-being. However – keep the concepts simple & comprehensible for children in younger age-groups with more attention paid towards imagery that promotes easy understanding.