Problem Solving For Kids [PDF]

Three-year-old Tom ran excitedly to the playground, heading straight for his favorite swing. But when he got there, another child was already swinging happily back and forth. Tom was crestfallen. That was his swing! He really wanted to play on it right now, but he didn’t want to take it from the other child. What should he do?

Nine-year-old Jenny walked into class ready for a fun day. Her teacher announced it was time to pair up for an activity. Jenny looked around for her best friend to partner with, but she wasn’t there! Yara felt lost and upset without her friend. Who would she work with now?

Fourteen-year-old Dan grinned as his friends invited him to join them at the beach after school. He really wanted to hang out with them. But then he remembered his mom asked him to watch his little sister this afternoon while she was at an appointment. Dan felt torn – should he go to the beach with his friends or stay home with his sister like he promised?

In each everyday scenario, the child faces a dilemma and must make a choice. With gentle guidance, these moments can become opportunities to learn constructive problem-solving skills and build character. The children must assess the situation, consider options, and find acceptable solutions. We can help them think through problems independently prepares them for future success.

Problem-solving is the step-by-step process of:

1. Understanding what the problem is in the first place. This requires being able to identify issues and analyze situations.
2. Thinking creatively about potential solutions. This involves brainstorming ideas, imagining different approaches, and tapping into curiosity.
3. Evaluating which of those solutions is the best option to pursue. This critical thinking weighs pros/cons and predicts possible outcomes.
4. Putting the chosen solution into action. This includes making a plan, executing it, and assessing the results.

If kids can master this process from a young age, it empowers them to overcome challenges on their own throughout life. When a problem arises, they will know how to approach it systematically, rather than feeling helpless or relying on others to fix it.

Developing strong problem-solving gives children the ability to: think for themselves, make wise choices, bounce back from adversity, adapt to new situations, and ultimately reach their full potential as independent adults. That’s why it’s so important for parents to nurture this skill early on.

Why Are Problem-Solving Skills Important?

Well, life is full of problems, both big and small. Children who know how to solve problems constructively are better able to handle the ups and downs they’ll encounter. Good problem solvers have more positive relationships, excel academically, and fare better in their careers.

Developing this ability early allows kids to:

• Manage emotions and behavior when something goes wrong
• Assess situations calmly and rationally
• Research and gather relevant information
• Weigh the pros and cons of potential solutions
• Learn from mistakes and failures while avoiding blame
• Collaborate with others to find the best answers
• Persevere through roadblocks to ultimately succeed

The foundations of Adult resiliency are established in childhood. Equipping kids with problem-solving strategies will give them the tools to cope with challenges and thrive.

How to Teach Problem-Solving to Children

Problem-solving is a skill, and like any skill, it takes time and practice to develop. We can provide opportunities starting in the toddler years that will get kids thinking about overcoming problems. Here are age-specific tips:

Ages 2-3

• Name emotions out loud. “You look so frustrated because you can’t reach that toy!”
• Offer two choices. “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?”
• Ask open-ended questions. “What do you think we should do about this?”

Ages 4-5

• Point out everyday problems. “The block tower fell down. What could we do to rebuild it?”
• Act out scenarios with toys. “Let’s pretend the dolls are hungry. What should they do?”
• Talk through how to compromise. “You both want the same toy. How can we solve this in a fair way?”

Ages 6-7

• Encourage research. “I wonder if books have ideas about how to care for a pet?”
• Discuss solutions rationally. “What are all the options we have for fixing your broken toy?”
• Identify positive approaches. “Which solutions show kindness and respect for others?”

Ages 8+

• Involve kids in decision making. “What should our family rules be about using electronics?”
• Teach how to break down problems. “First, let’s define the issue. Next we’ll look at choices. Then we can pick the best option.”
• Highlight perseverance. “This puzzle is challenging! But we’ll keep trying different strategies until we solve it.”
• Talk through case studies together. Take a story from current events or history. Discuss what the key problems were, possible solutions, and the outcome.

Modeling Problem-Solving

More than anything else, kids learn by watching their parents. They pick up on how you face obstacles and find solutions. Be mindful of the example you set. When problems arise, stay calm, think logically, and talk through options out loud. Consider creative solutions, seek input from others, and highlight facts. If your first attempts don’t work, try again with a new strategy. Debrief afterwards by analyzing what went well or poorly. Framing challenges as learning opportunities rather than catastrophes demonstrates positive problem-solving kids will emulate.

Encourage Independence

Give children age-appropriate problems to tackle on their own. Let your 5 year old figure out how to build a tower tall enough to reach something. Ask your 8 year old how to divide household chores fairly. Resist the urge to rush in and help. Even if they struggle, the process of attempting to find solutions prepares kids to solve all types of problems in the future. Use guidance questions to prompt thinking: What have you tried so far? Did you think of any other ideas? Would someone else have a different perspective? What would happen if…? The goal isn’t perfection – it’s the life-long skills gained through grappling independently with challenges.

Integrating Problem Solving Into Daily Life

Make chores a problem to solve

Instead of simply telling children what chores they need to complete and how to do them, frame the task as a challenge to solve. For example, say “The living room is a mess. How can we clean it up in the next 20 minutes?” Let them look around the room, identify the tasks like picking up toys, vacuuming, and wiping down surfaces. Ask them to estimate how long each might take, then split up the work in a way they think will get it all done on time. Guide them through the process of breaking a big problem down into smaller pieces. After completing the chore, discuss what went well or could improve next time.

Brainstorm solutions to conflicts

When siblings are arguing over something like who gets to pick the movie or who has to sit in the middle seat, don’t immediately intervene. First, have them take a break to cool down. Then bring them together to brainstorm solutions. For example, they could take turns picking the movie each night or switch middle seat duties every 30 minutes on a road trip. Remind them to listen to each other’s perspective. As the parent, try not to pass judgment but facilitate the discussion. If they get stuck, offer compromises like setting a timer giving each child equal movie picking time or seeing if someone wants to volunteer for the middle. The goal is teach them to resolve conflicts constructively.

Involve children in planning

Give kids a chance to help plan things like birthday parties, vacations, and school projects. For a birthday, let them help make the guest list, choose activities, decorate, and select the menu. Go through each step asking for their input and ideas. Teach them to think about details like costs, drive times, and how to keep guests engaged. For a school project, have them break down all the steps needed to complete it by the deadline from research to writing to presentation. Helping make these big plans will develop their organizational skills.

Ask curious questions

When you encounter an everyday problem like a broken item or spilled milk, ask children, “Hmm I wonder how we can take care of this?” rather than immediately fixing it yourself. This curious question prompts them to stop and think through potential solutions. If they seem stumped, offer prompts like: What are some options you thought of? What do you need to clean this up? What should we do first? This shows them that slowing down to assess a situation and think through next steps is valuable.

More about questions you can read here.

Play logic and problem-solving games

Games like mazes, spatial puzzles, chess, sudoku, and brain teasers are great ways to build critical thinking skills in a fun way. Mazes help kids learn to break down problems and plan step-by-step solutions. Jigsaw puzzles encourage visual-spatial skills and logical reasoning as they figure out which pieces fit together. Chess develops strategic decision-making as they plan moves and countermoves. Playing these types of games as a family teaches kids to think flexibly, apply logic, and find creative solutions. Start with simple puzzles and games for young kids, then add more complexity as they grow older.

Set up obstacle courses

Obstacle courses are the perfect way to turn problem solving into physical fun. Set up a course inside or outside using things like furniture, blankets, cardboard boxes, hula hoops, poles or pool noodles. Add challenge elements like tunnels to crawl through, walls to climb over, targets to throw at, mazes to navigate around walls, hills to climb up and down, and “rivers” to cross by hopping between pillows. Encourage your child to observe and plan their route through the course, making it a problem to tackle. They’ll have to get creative in how they use, move, and get around obstacles. Let them run the course multiple times to try different approaches. They’ll learn flexibility, strategizing, and motor skills.

Growing with Choices

Giving kids simple choices helps develop confidence and problem-solving skills. Let them pick out their own outfit from a pre-selected options so they learn make decisions. Allow them to assemble their own snack or meal within boundaries, making creations like finger sandwiches or trail mix. Support hobbies they initiate like drawing, coding or model rockets, even if they struggle at first. Mistakes will happen – the peanut butter and jelly may be a mess and the model rocket may fizzle. But resisting the urge to step in and fix things builds resilience. Guide them through challenges with tips, remind them of past successes, and celebrate their independence.

Talk through real-life dilemmas

It’s powerful when parents think aloud through problems at home or work. For example, share your thought process of how to prep for a big presentation, organize a family reunion, or resolve a disagreement with someone. Let them listen as you analyze the problem, brainstorm ideas, think through pros and cons of different approaches, and explain your final decision. Ask them open-ended questions to get their input too. This exposes them to positive real-world problem solving. Use age-appropriate issues and explain enough context so they can follow along. The goal is to model breaking big problems into logical steps to find the best solution.

Reframing Failure

Mistakes and failures are learning opportunities, not catastrophes.

When our children make mistakes or experience failures, it’s important that we react calmly and thoughtfully. Getting visibly upset or angry can inadvertently send the message that failure is catastrophic. Instead, we should avoid excessive criticism and remember that some failure is a natural part of the learning process. We gain wisdom and skills through trial and error.

When setbacks do occur, take time to rationally analyze what went wrong, asking questions like “What do you think the main causes were?” and “Where did things start to go sideways?” Discuss constructive lessons like better planning, seeking input, backup options, and practicing skills more that could improve future attempts. Praise hard work, creativity, and persistence despite the mistake. Share times when you failed and bounced back, modeling resilience. Offer plenty of encouragement to keep trying, reminding children you believe in their ability to eventually succeed if they keep honing their skills.

With this supportive approach, we instill that mistakes are opportunities for growth rather than permanent marks of failure. Children develop determination to pick themselves up after setbacks and emerge wiser. Over time, they internalize that some failure is to be expected when problem solving, but the best solution is to analyze what went wrong and keep trying.

Final Words

Problem-solving ability won’t happen overnight. But by providing steady opportunities and support, we can develop this crucial skill in children that will serve them well for life.

Problem solving is difficult for both children and adults. Often, we just act, without stopping, thinking and planning. However, as you practice the steps of solving the problems, you find that it gradually becomes more natural and faster, until it is almost second nature. If we commit to teaching and modeling a thoughtful problem-solving process, our kids will reap the rewards for years to come.

Download a summarized overview of the key points from the article on teaching kids problem-solving skills HERE!